For several years, I was married to a man that I no longer loved. Now this is not to say that he was a horrible person, it was actually quite the contrary, but only two years after we were married I realized that we were not meant to be. It was a classic case of two people marrying too young (I was 19 and he was 21) and there were too many aspects of each others personalities and appearances that we both wished to change.
And upon the realization that true love was loving someone for who they truly are (even what we consider to be faults) I knew that our
marriage would never last. So I tried countless times to end our marriage, sometimes amiable, sometimes not.
But he would always convince me otherwise and it was destined to be a vicious circle for ten long years. In fact it grew so tedious, and then so comfortable that I finally resigned myself to the fact that I would never find true love.
Not knowing that my true love, Isaac felt exactly the same as I, living in the same city as I , and working at one of the boutiques that I sold my women's clothing line to at that time.
In fact, it was my favorite one.
And, as fate would have it, Isaac began to flip through the pages of a fashion magazine where he found an article on my clothing line and a picture of me. And stopping dead at that page he exclaimed to his friend, "There she is! This is women that I'm going to marry!" " Good luck" said his friend "she's already married!"
"We carry her line, besides how would you know something like that?"
"I just know"
Of course this part of our story I would not know about until after we finally met on a crazy smoke filled night at a karaoke bar called "The Mint" I had invited Isaac's boss to this bar to celebrate our mutual friends birthday and he had used me as incentive to get Isaac to come along for company. I had actually been introduced to Isaac several weeks prior on a visit to his boutique to discuss our new men's line. He was very memorable with his super cute Mohawk and huge beautiful smile. " I think he might be into me" I told my best friend and business partner at the time " He was way too smiley!"
And so there he was with a bunch of my friends smoking
cigarettes outside of "the Mint" and there was that beautiful smile again!
And within minutes of our very genuine conversation, we learned that we were not only both Leo's but born a mere four days apart from each other. We were both "the middle child" with older and younger siblings that were the same ages and we were both artists with a love for fashion and a tendency to party extremely often.
So after a lot of flirting, which led to intense kissing and ultimately ended the night at my apartment (as fate would have it my husband was away on a business trip all week) I know what you are thinking " What a horrible wife!" and believe me, I felt extremely guilty. So I called my best friend the second Isaac left (it was already 11 am the next day!) and we talked for over an hour.
Just like a best friend he convinced me "no real harm done" as long as I
#1 Never see Isaac again
#2 Never, ever tell my husband
"N0 matter how guilty you feel, Emily, It will only make matters worse"
And for two days I did not speak to Isaac but I thought about him every minute of those two days. "could he be the one?"
"My true love that adored me no matter what?"
Of course I wanted my "dream" relationship to be everything that my current one was not. I wanted so much to experience deep attraction. I wanted to have common interests! My husband actually found everything that interested me to be laughable at best. But mostly I wanted to be so in love that I would never, EVER even think about looking at anyone else.
"sigh"
I needed to figure things out. So I decided to go to my favorite place in the world. A cliff with the perfect spot for a picnic and the most beautiful view of the ocean.
I had buried my lovebird there, "Chicken Hawk"
I would go there to regroup, to just be peaceful and take in all of the beauty, the ocean, the flowers, and the sky!
That day I went out there to think about Isaac. I looked up at the sky and thought
to myself " I wish that I would see a sign, something that would let me know that the way that I felt was right!
I mean I felt so guilty but at the same time I couldn't stop thinking about Isaac and it was driving my crazy! And no sooner had this thought escaped me when I looked up into the sky and saw two beautiful white seagulls. They looked like they were dive bombing
each other, climbing up into the wind and then spiralling out of control until one almost hit the other!
It looked so graceful and so beautiful and also like they were having the time of their lives.
I could almost hear them laughing as they played their game spiralling in the wind. And right at that moment I took it as my sign. I
knew that Isaac and I were meant to be, the funny thing was that I
could already feel it in my heart!
I also knew that following my heart would lead to the freedom that I
wanted so badly, the freedom to be who I really
was and actually have fun with it! To have fun with each other..what a novel idea!
And if I could actually have THAT,
have someone that made
me feel alive and beautiful and playful EVERY day for the rest of my life, then that would be worth EVERYTHING to me and more.
And so right at that very moment I chose
to be with Isaac and only Isaac forever and it has
made my life more beautiful and more passionate and more alive every day.
I Love you, Baby 2X
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